The Constant

What started as idle texts
What started as one phone call
Gossips and small talks
The slurry drunken words
Countless nights of staying awake
Listening to each other
Laugh until we cried
Cry until it stopped hurting
Who knew we’d get so close?

Souls met, not the humans
A voice that made me smile
A voice that was my home
Nights that became day
Words that woke the sun
Our stories never ended
Your stories never ended
You rescued me every time
When I drowned in my own tears
But did you know?
You were my beacon
Your silly jokes
The laughter that provided me warmth
Your theories that you were so proud of
The theories that made no sense

A beautiful friendship
Far, far away in distance
Closest by heart
You meant a little more to me
You mean a little more to me
I fell in love or was it love?
I hope it’s love. Oh, well!
But I didn’t want anything in return
I never want anything in return
I wanted to see you, I did
I wanted to feel your warmth, I did
I wanted to take a piece of you with me
I didn’t.
I left a huge piece of me with you
A piece I lost the day we met
We went too far, we shouldn’t have
Kisses that meant something
Words that hurt me like a shrapnels
I knew you weren’t mine
I knew it was time for me to leave
Standing so close to you,
It was all I dreamt of
Your arms around my waist
I felt so far away from you
The pain tugged at my heart
That night in the balcony
Alcohol in our hands,
cold breeze on our face
I know we were done
I know I had to go
Our chapter was over
I had to leave
I did or did you?

Life moved on,
For better and for worse
Not a day went by
Where I didn’t think of you
At random times in a day
But mostly at night
It was our time
The whys and why nots
The could haves and the maybes
Maybe it was not meant to be
Maybe it was you, you didn’t want it
Maybe I didn’t wish hard enough
I met others, I made friends
None like you, nothing like us
Who said you cannot be addicted to humans?
Who said addiction is bad?
You were my necessary addiction
I was going through withdrawal

Now from the other side of world
when I hear your voice
It feels like a dream
A bundle of nostalgia
An estranged love
A burst of happiness
Care in human form
A crumbled dream
Said hello to me
At a time when I have lost everything
But still have everything
What a weird stage in life?
And here you are back again
And nothing has changed
You still laugh when you want to cry
When you want to breakdown
Will you let me hold you and pick the broken pieces?
You still pacify me when you are drowning in pain
We picked up from where we left
We didn’t hold grudges, we don’t resent each other
If this is not love, what is?
And the timing is not still not right
I cannot hug you tight when all I want to do is that
You cannot sit infront of me and talk
While I see that twinkle in your eyes

What is the meaning of our relationship?
Have you ever wondered?
Who am I to you? Who are you to me?
A lover? A friend? A confidante? An ally?
When I left you it felt like you were my enemy
But I still loved you, do you love your enemy?
I couldn’t hurt you, I can never hurt you
What are you to me? Why do you make me so happy?
You make me feel at peace. You calm my storms.
You bring the best version of me
But you also scare me, what if you fade away like a dream?
Every pain, every sorrow leaves me when I have you
And there’s only you and my happiness

I know who you are!
You are my safe space. My happy space.
You are my home, my constant
No matter where I go or what I do
Whom I meet, and where I end up
When I turn back, I see you
I don’t know if our timing would ever be right
I wouldn’t know if you ever really loved me
If you loved me the way I did
If you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me
I wanted to. I would have left everything behind for you
I will never know if you would have
But I know I will survive if you are around
The thought that I have you no matter how far you are
The very thought that I can run back to you will give me strength
Maybe you are my soulmate who keeps running away from me
Maybe soulmates don’t have to be bonded in a contract
Maybe soulmates can just meet and fall in love
Be each other’s constant
Maybe that’s who we are to each other
The constant!

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