The Free Spirit

I know love you me and maybe I love you too. Well, I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel about us anymore. I wouldn’t blame you. It’s not you, it’s me. I know it’s a cliché. It’s something everyone says when they want to leave without hurting the other person. But I do not mean it that way. You should know that I would never be afraid of hurting your feelings, because I know that you can handle it. I have realised that everyone is capable of handling pain. We just deal with it differently. I find this realisation a bit sad. But I do not want to digress. So, here’s the thing, I have loved and lost. I have fallen apart, picked my own pieces and tread ahead. I am not who I was yesterday. I evolve every single day. I know I am and I am alone responsible for my happiness. I do not expect anything from anyone and I cannot afford to let someone expect something of me. It’s not that I am incapable of fulfilling those expectations but, I just don’t want to be responsible for someone’s happiness. I cannot stick to a person. I cannot stay committed to you. I don’t want to make you promises. I have lived alone for a really long time. I stray, wander and I may return, but I cannot guarantee you that. I don’t want you to wait for me. Maybe you have a huge heart. Maybe you have enough love to give this entire world. So, maybe you should go ahead and give all that love to someone because, your love does not belong with me. I do not belong to anyone not through love or any kind of bondage. I am a lone wolf, a free spirit and the person who can never reciprocate your love because, that’s what freedom does to you. That’s what happens when you have learnt to love yourself. You do not need anyone else. Maybe not just yet.

– Drabble, Gayathri

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