Take help and the happy path

I am the only daughter to my parents and an introvert. That’s probably one of the best and the worst combinations. As a child, I spent a lot of time alone. Being a single daughter with both the parents working is not really an amazing thing to have. Being an introvert didn’t help either. I was shy. I would be bullied because I was fat as a child and I became shyer because of the way I looked. I didn’t have the confidence to go out in the world. Going to school was hard, fitting in was harder. I was the weird kid sitting in the last corner of the bench. I was invisible and I liked it. Meeting people even seeing them in their eyes made me nervous.

My parents were worried because I didn’t even talk to them. I still remember the times when my dad has begged me to talk to him. He makes me answer questions just to hear my voice. I did not make friends up until the age of 14 and then I met her through my mom.  She studied in the same class as I did. She was one of the popular, teacher’s pet. I have seen her a lot of times before.  A girl who possessed every trait that was opposite to me. She tried to become my friend because of my mother. I didn’t want a friendship out of sympathy and so I ignored her for days and even months. She persisted. She wouldn’t relent until I spoke to her. I finally had to give up because she wasn’t going to. I liked talking to her. In the beginning, I listened mostly because I am never used to talking. But slowly she made me speak.  Like unwrapping a gift box she slowly opened me up. She dragged me out of my shell and made me see the world from her perspective. It was beautiful. She was just there and always there. She is my first best friend. She accepted me for who I am with my shyness, awkwardness, and weirdness. She embraced me with my insecurities and fears. She knows I shut down and don’t speak to people for days and she would leave me alone. She knows when to pull me out of my shell. My friends circle expanded because of her. She always took me wherever she went. I met more people and slowly I stopped feeling nervous around them. I could talk which was a big deal.

I can’t tell I would be the person I am today without her; because of her, the world became a less scary place for me. I walk with confidence today because a long time ago when I couldn’t face people she helped me do it. She took my hand and led me down that path that scared me.

Sometimes we could be depressed, when life has abandoned us and we think we are alone in this world, there will be people who are trying to reach out to us. They are just waiting on your doorstep waiting for you to extend your arms so they could catch hold of you and drag you out. There are people who cry because you are crying and wouldn’t let them help you. Maybe we are strong. Maybe we love to be independent and face our demons alone. Maybe we do not want to burden someone with the problems we face. But then we do not have to do everything alone. We can take help because it makes life easier. It could stop you from spiraling down the black hole that you don’t have to go into. It’s important to have people in your life. It’s important to let them love you and it’s OK to break down in front of them. It’s OK to ask and to allow someone to help you because you are not alone in this world and you don’t have to be.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
-Maya Angelou


2 thoughts on “Take help and the happy path

  1. Hi Gayathri! I am glad to read this post about you. And I very much agree with you on the last para. I too have found people overthinking and hesitating a lot for help, irrespective of how small or big the problem could be. It feels great to know that people like your best frind exists. Even at such small age, not giving up on you is something very precious and is hardly found. Really well-written post. Thanks for making me read it from the heart, that’s a pure reflection of you writing from your heart. Keep up the spirit girl! All the best!
    Tara Nair

    Liked by 1 person

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