A few weeks back I was an enthusiastic contestant of the A to Z challenge. I really wanted to do it because I was way out of touch with writing in general. I was off to a great start, I posted blogs regularly, visited the blogs of others and commented “Good write up” and similar sentences just so they know I visited their blog. But as usual, I couldn’t get past the alphabet E. This time the reason why I stopped writing after the alphabet E is different. I was not lazy, but I couldn’t force myself to write something. My brain fails to function if I force it to do something. The second reason was I was too caught up at work that I almost forgot my blog. Infact, I even forgot my journal without which I cannot do anything.
Yes see, I don’t have many friends in general. At work, zilch! I don’t talk to anyone because I cannot get myself involved in small talks. I fail to understand why we should discuss about petty things, like, why it is so hot today or how pathetic the traffic was. The answers are mostly obvious. It’s hot because it is summer, it is a topic of discussion if it’s not hot then something is gravely wrong! The traffic is always pathetic so what do you want to discuss about that?I cannot talk about mundane things because they are not going to change anything. I would rather prefer that people smile and leave instead of forcing some meaningless conversation that will eventually get awkward after 2 minutes because I will fall silent for the lack of anything more to say.
When I get voluntarily dragged for breaks, I stand there as a part of the wall and quietly listen to conversation with a cup of green tea while people discuss how I can drink the pathetically tasting green tea. This is the reason I carry a journal and a book around. I like their company better than humans who are not used to my weirdness. But I was not reading a book or writing the journal for weeks. It worried me, finally! I was working like a donkey, running around like a crazy woman, not sharing anything with my friends or parents for what? This is the question that appeared in my head last Thursday. Why am I running around? For whom? What am I trying to prove by ignoring the things that I love to do, that helps me unwind end of everyday? Why am I getting into this madness? The moment I asked myself these questions, I stopped running around. Just like that, I called in sick and spent the day helping my mother, talking to her, watching my favourite series and practiced glass painting. I tried a new recipe and I was fully happy with it. I spoke to my friends and spent some time for myself. I finally wrote my journal and made a list of things I should do and apologized to myself for being so busy and ignoring my health and self!
The point I am trying to make here is that, as much as work seems important, you are important too. Sometimes, we get too carried away with work and other mundane things in life that we forget to live. We forget to pursue our passion and the things that make us happy. Those few weeks when I was busy working, my parents missed her daughter. We would be sitting under the same roof in different rooms and pinging each other on Facebook because they cannot talk to me in person. Do you think this moment with your parents can be re-lived? We can always find another job if we lose one. Infact, a better one! But how about the moments with your loved ones? What I do, I do it for money. But if that money does not help me do the things I love to do what is the use of it? If one employer stops paying me there’s going to be another. If I stop working hard, they are going to find another person to replace me. I will still be there, I will still get the money, maybe less, maybe not. But I will still get it and I can build a lifestyle around it while I still work on my passion, have time for my loved ones and myself. I can find a balance and not lose myself in the rat race because this race is never going to end. It doesn’t have a finish line. This race is a maze where you lose yourself.
Try not to get into it because you are important!