Here comes February, the month of love, meh! On this auspicious month we have the most love inducing day of the entire year – Valentine’s Day. And normally one would expect a very mushy post that oozes love from every possible pixel of the computer. But I am going to write about the downsides of being single in a world like this! Where social media has taken over human’s sanity and common sense, and the photos of couples enjoying their honeymoon, destination wedding, pre-wedding photography, candlelight dinner and selfies of them sleeping together in the bed (I mean sleeping separately together in one bed, just sleeping), duck face together, angry face, staring at each other and more and more and more adorns their facebook timelines and eventually my walls. All I get to do is post a pic with a minion that I just went mad over while going shopping last weekend or a pic with the doughnut I stuffed into my mouth seconds after clicking a pic with.
Now, I may behave like I don’t care and go about with the attitude that these couple may be happy now but eventually they are going to get bored of taking selfies with each other and then there will be babies. There’s also the fact that I am never going to get bored with the minions or doughnut, hah! Eat that! But we do get jealous. My friend and I we are single for ages now! We mostly start a conversation ranting about our non-existent love life. Then after few minutes we find ourselves laughing at the silliness of these couples, and later we are cursing our respective husbands who are probably aborted in the womb or got struck by a lightening while they were coming to meet us. We are planning to send a search squad to find them. After some time, we tell each other that we are strong women and we will and can live without a man in this world only to deny it immediately. Do you see what’s going on here? We are having mood swings like a woman in permanent PMS. That’s just traumatic.
I recently bought a book by Nicholas Sparks. 20 pages and I tossed the book aside and it is still lying where I threw it. I find romance boring. How can the women in the books get a man so easily when I cannot find one single, eligible bachelor in sight? Just how can it happen? So basically these are only for books. As you grow old, you get wiser (read boring) and all the jazz of being in a relationship will be gone. This is exactly when that one friend who’s been single and stuck along with you for a very, very long time gets into a relationship too. Then they become like other couple too! Just like infected by zombies they too start posting meaningless status on FB and send personalized selfies to you on whatsapp! God! How I wish social media dooms for eternity! Apparently, you feel absolutely lonely in this big, wide, couple eating stag world! Do you know they don’t let stag men into some pubs in Chennai? Just how brutal can that be?
I am sure you would have been single at some point in your life. Have you noticed that these imbeciles who are in love don’t care that we also have a life? They will call you or meet you for lunch and all they do is go on and on and on about their happy love life. Share your experience with us but we don’t want intricate details about it! NO! NO! We don’t want to know what you are planning for Valentine’s Day or what your girlfriend or boyfriend finds cute about you. We are definitely not interested in knowing about your first kiss, ugh! Especially, when I meet you for lunch and all I want to do is listen to this for 3 hours non-stop. It’s not cute! If anything it’s annoying enough to hit you with a hammer. Why can’t they find a common ground to talk about and why doesn’t it ever occur to them to even ask about us?
It’s right that the brain fails to work when you are in love. Maybe that’s why I will never fall in love because I respect my brain a little too much than required!
Although I will never understand why you need a special day to celebrate love when you can do it anyday you want to! Happy Valentine’s Day! May you take more selfies and be busy on Facebook than actually enjoying the day! May you finally realize that you don’t have to live for Facebook but for yourself and the person you love! Finally, may you leave us poor single crowd alone!