For the last 3 – 4 years, I have been slowly drowning in Pessimism and resentment. I would be very depressed most of the times for no particular reason. Then there were times I would be brooding over the lost love, the broken flings and the friends who became strangers. I would then dream of the day when all these people who left me heartbroken come back and fill my life with joy and happiness. I used to drench myself in stupidity and enjoyed it. I always had a reason to be depressed or complain about life when there was nothing to complain!
Then finally! F.I.N.A.L.L.Y now I seem to be enjoying my life. I believe in jinx and I am cherophobic. I recently learnt about this word. It’s a feeling that comes to you when you are very happy and then get paranoid that something wrong might happen to break this perfect happy bubble of yours. A good friend of mine and I always mock about the way God has designed our lives. It’s always been shitty! If we are happy this minute we are sure a huge distress waits the very next minute. Hey! We are at least prepared. This helps us stay grounded in any kind of euphoric situation. So like I said, I do believe in jinx but I think it’s perfectly ok to share about how I am enjoying my life because I have seen worst already!
I always knew I am made for the corporate world. I love sitting infront of the computer all day reading requirement documents and typing long e-mails, interacting with clients, answering escalation e-mails, attending meetings. I love doing it. I don’t sulk about Mondays and I don’t wait for weekends because I love my work. So, I finally got my dream job last month and here I am doing the things I love to do although it is hectic and totally nerve racking at times I am enjoying every bit of it. The best part of my work is the timing. I had been working in second shift for almost 7 years now. But now finally I have a 9 – 6 job! That’s awesome. There were times I had longed to go back home just like every other normal human being but I wasn’t able to. I sleep at 12 AM and wake up at 9 AM mostly. Mind you, I am a morning person until college. I thoroughly enjoy early mornings. With this awesomeness happening I feel like I have a new life, like God has finally found how much I hated working until 10.30 in the night, how much I loathed that life I was living and gave me this new life! Just like that! Isn’t that what he does? Give things just like that when you least expect it.
I wake up at 5.30 AM sharp, change to my tracks and go to the gym. Come back home and do my yoga and meditation then start to office, calm and relaxed like every other normal person. I am eating my breakfast after like 7 years and trust me it is horrendously difficult! And Finally! I have started losing weight so my erratic work hours was the culprit all these years! I haven’t made any friends here yet and I have always been totally fine with being alone. So I am enjoying my lonely breaks where I take a corner table in the cafeteria and observe people. The best part of being in an IT company is like standing on a huge tall ladder and overlooking India. We can see so many people from diverse culture, talking different languages, the fashionable girls and the stylish men. I silently look at everyone. People who go to the same food counter everyday, those who eat sandwich always, love birds, flirts, friends sharing personal troubles. Then I was getting bored with this routine and so today I decided to take a novel with me so I can read them during my breaks. What novel did I take with me? Eat, Pray, Love. J
I have read somewhere that books are eternal magic. This magic always transports me to a no man’s land. While the whole cafeteria buzzed with people shouting food orders, chatting the usual gossips and sipping their juice and coffee watching some discussion on TV I went to the end of the cafeteria found a corner seat, settled with my coffee and novel. I heard Elizabeth Gilbert narrate her story and gobbled my paneer cheese sandwich and emptied a packet of lays with the coffee while I read Luca and liz trying the lamb intestine in Italy. While Liz after contemplating for a long time decided to dump the lamb intestine. Luca asks her the reason to which she says Gandhi was a vegetarian. After hogging the last piece of sandwich without a pinch of guilt, I got back to work as Luca Spaghetti agreed with liz that Gandhi is a vegetarian and still felt it is ok to eat the lamb intestine “because intestines aren’t meat. They are just shit”
And there I finally learnt to live life, accept things as it is and let go off the things that are not in my control and enjoy the little pleasures that life offers you everyday! Again. (Oh! and did I mention the paneer cheese sandwich was such a delight?)
The name of this blog should have actually been finally, I guess! 😛