I don’t feel like writing much these days, it’s not because I don’t want to write or quit writing and yes it’s a statement I am making more to myself like I am assuring myself that I will not quit writing this is just a phase! So what am I writing now? I have no idea it’s just that I have a feeling that I have not written in a long time now and it is just quite upsetting and it makes me feel like I am missing something really big which used to be a part of my life. So now I am just going to blabber something or everything that comes to my mind, if you don’t find it interesting just close my blog and go do something that’s worth given the time! No I am serious you can go ahead and close it, infact you can even drop a comment after you’ve read saying, “hey, do you really even expect me to read this shit!” it won’t hurt my feelings but I might swear you back because I already warned you not to waste time on this and I am just blabbering.
So how did I start writing, I actually remember writing a poem on human brain (So when I say human brain I expect few of friends to ask do you have that to write about it? Guys let’s deal it separately not on blog!) when I was in class 2 and I never wrote after that. Then one fine day when my mom and I were cleaning the dirtiest place of the house – My cupboard she took a notebook and showed me this poem I had written, it was good I gave a smile after reading it and put the book back into the cupboard but then yea I had some talent you see! I had written something about the human brain which was kind of a poem. Then I was going through a rough time in life and was getting lonelier, incidentally I did not have much work to so I decided I would just start browsing through our corporate websites (we didn’t have access to social networking so I didn’t have a choice!) and then came across a place where people had written nice things. I thought I will try something too so this is how it all started and here I am having a sweet set of followers, a decent rank on Indiblogger, there are people who really like what I write and thanks to them! If I am writing it’s only because you guys! OK enough I can hear you say cut the crap! But This post is only crap I told you or should I say I warned you! 😉
Today I was waiting for the bus to come to my office when I thought there are few things in life that I wanted to do but don’t for the fear of feeling the guilt or for the fear that it might not be good for future! I wanted to say someone how much I love them and I don’t, for the fear of losing them. But then life is here infront of me, it’s today and it’s happening so why should I hesitate and whom should I fear for and I thought there should be times when I should just let go off myself and do what I want to do! Do what I love, do things that want to do but restrained myself from doing for a long time! So I decided I am going to tell people that I don’t want to do it, if I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to live for others for those who judge me I mean who are they! F*#@ them! I want to live a life just for myself. I am not going to wait for the right time because I know its never going to come. I am going to let go off the fear of being hurt if I love someone because that is the only way to completely love a person, isn’t it? I mean who cares if they are going to leave you someday or how do you know that they will? So I thought when nothing is certain why bother? Why have the fear? There is a very famous saying and it’s my favourite too. A very best friend of mine told that to me recently when I was low, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Like how Elizabeth Gilbert says in Eat, Pray, Love “eventually everything leaves” but if you think well people don’t “leave” you they are just building their own lives and they will give you a room where you can stay and see them being happy and sometimes they know when to invite you into their happiness! So I am going to let go off myself and love, stay attached from this moment! I am going to get drunk (long time wish ssshhhh!! :P), I am going to go crazy, take my car n play the music that I love n keep driving till I get tired, I am going to laugh when I want to laugh, apologize, forgive, forget, love and do what I want to do! I don’t care what future has in stake for me, I can take things when it comes. Afterall, it’s YET TO COME! J
Well, so I also wanted to say if you don’t find my blogs as frequently as before I am really sorry for that.. I know at least a very few of you should be upset that I don’t write quite often as I used to. But I am at a new office doing a totally new kind of work which is consuming all my time leaving me no space to write. But then I will try to post whenever I could! Please do bear with me.. Do you have a choice? 😛
See you soon! J