Me to a close friend who helped me – “Thank you so much for the help.”
CF raging with anger – ‘Why do you say thanks to me?”
Me – “Well, it’s out of habit!”
CF gives a confused look – “Still you don’t have to thank me!”
Me – blinking on how to respond to a help that was received when required the most. Plus, I said it is a habit!
Friends are the most wonderful creatures in the world but sometimes they can get equally tortuous. I learnt in school that I should say thanks when someone helps me and I should apologize when I hurt someone both physically and emotionally. Now I was put in a convent where I was taught to say thanks for almost everything good others did to me, then comes my mom I still remember her staring at me when someone gives me a chocolate and I pop it into my mouth without thanking them. I have been like this for 25 years and now all of a sudden my friends find it annoying or stupid to say thanks.
It got nerve wrackingly confusing for me and so once I asked one of my friends, “So how else one can show gratification?” Buy chocolates was her answer, Ah fair enough and wise! I liked it. So I had a solution from then. The hater of “Thank you” loves sweets and other things that will make them happy so I started buying them keep sakes and chocolates in return. I still say thank you! I find it good to thank people.
But what should I do when one doesn’t accept your apologies? Go to them and cry? or write a sorry note? I am very bad at apologizing when it is not my mistake let alone write a note, I am sure it will be pathetic! There are people who find it difficult to accept apologies even after months. Once my friend and I had a major fight, My other friends said that I should be the peace maker given the fact that this woman is extremely stubborn and so to put an end to this non-ending misery and also to stop my friends from reading long scripts everyday about how much they want us to be together and how boring the gang is without us “communicating” I decided to give in. Actually in most of the cases I am the one who give in, so shameless I am or maybe I can try I am very lovely! You can pick any phrase you find appropriate. I went to the friend and without any confrontation I said, “I am sorry for hurting you! err… I know both of us have made mistakes but enough is enough… uhh… We should be friends again…”
My friend – “There’s no mistake on my part so you better stop saying that we have done mistakes!” She put doubles quotes in the air and wiped a tear from her eyes. Oh my drama queen!
Out of so many words she picked “BOTH OF US MADE MISTAKES” sometimes I do understand why guys find it difficult to put up with girls! Pah!
Me – “Hey I am trying to sign a truce here, so why don’t you just drop it? I said sorry!”
My friend – “Sorry doesn’t make a dead man alive!”
She took her bag and walked away. I stood there trying to relate the dead man to our friendship. Who’s the dead man now is it me or our friendship? So she says our friendship is dead or she says I did a big mistake by arguing with her earlier and saying that both of made mistakes when only she did so I am dead! Whatever! We eventually patched up which is a different story.
I don’t understand the problem with people when a person apologizes to them, why do they find it so difficult to accept and forgive? Forgiving someone is Godliness; it shows how benevolent you are. You need a very beautiful heart to forgive someone. So next time when someone apologizes you stop talking stupid dialogues and accept it. You are not going lose anything by forgiving someone who truly feels bad about losing you or having done something wrong.
And please do accept when someone says Thank you! We cannot get you gifts everytime and too many chocolates are not good for your heath!